We couldn't say we'd lost the baby, because he was still kicking away, but we couldn't pretend everything was fine, either. And she said that, you know, as the, if the baby did develop further there would probably be other problems with internal organs that weren't really that visible at that stage. I did. Thanks girls, it's amazing how protected our babies are in there isn't it?! You may need to have a full bladder when you come for the appointment. And, for a few hours, I'm convinced I've made a terrible mistake. Do you have any thoughts about that? DS had 2 soft markers: talipes (club foot) and 'echogenic locii' somewhere - heart I think. The doctor told me he was 98% sure this was a failing twin pregnancy. The first midwife seemed to understand what we were trying to say, and said she would ask the doctor to come and talk to us. I think there might be a problem'. I know its hard- but i really wouldnt worry about it too much as the worry will stress you and your body out. We walked all the way home. To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. And I know I can't hurry up the process of grieving. I've been incredibly lucky to have such amazing support from Sam, my mum, and close friends and family. The pain was bearable but uncomfortable, the hospital rang me a few days later and asked me how I was. And the local hospital wanted to send us off to the regional hospital to actually confirm that, and were not really prepared to say at that time that there was something very seriously wrong. I was given a leaflet and told to return four days later to see the consultant. When I see a child with Down's syndrome, I have a tremendous need to explain myself and apologise a million times over. When I told him what had happened, he refused to believe anything was wrong and said he'd sort it out when he came home. I felt crushed, I wanted him to at least acknowledge what had been found already. He had to come to the decision by himself. Most scans are carried out by specially trained staff called sonographers. Possibly with hindsight we could have been more worried about it, but was probably a good thing we weren't, because we weren't worried about anything basically. Last reviewed July 2017. As two youngest siblings, we were both permanently stuck in the irresponsible, childish role. [Husband] couldn't make it. And it's, I can't remember exactly what it was now, it's about where the brain is supposed to form. And so, yeah we got to, carried on with the pregnancy, kept seeing the consultant, kept sitting in the waiting room outside, because there was a terribly long waiting time sometimes, depending on what time you had the appointment. My son's congenital heart defect was detected at the 20 week scan and he had 2 other markers, no . Good luck has not come easily over the past few years. Surely he couldn't have missed anything else that is so serious x. Three midwives came and went. For women who have been given distressing news about their baby during the scan, there should be a health professional available to provide immediate support. Some people we talked to had not had a 18-20-week scan, either because their babies' abnormalities had been detected by earlier . Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here), tbh, they never give you good news at scans. Being deeply unhappy and kind to others at the same time is nigh on impossible. The same unique expression he had when he saw our two year old born. The clinic advised a follow up scan the week after, to check on progress and to see what to do next. So on the Monday we went in to see the senior sonographer, I think she was a consultant at the hospital. Registered office: Nicholas House, 3 Laurence Pountney Hill, London, EC4R 0BB. He was tiny, perfect and a Down's syndrome baby. So we hid in our house. Please ask your hospital about this before your appointment. I had never imagined having an amniocentesis. Not surprisingly, people aren't quite sure how to deal with me. Next most likely is that baby doesn't co-operate and they can't see some parts of anatomy and call you back 2 weeks later just because they couldn't see (i had this but because twin pregnancy I was due to be scanned 2 weeks later anyway). I wrote a few things down last night when we were trying to go over things, just to remind myself. See you in -. We need to have your opinion'. That was the first time I had heard him cry. . Several women had taken young children with them to the 20-week scan because they expected to see 'nice pictures of the baby'. So we had to go in and out a couple of times, and we were just waiting around for ages and ages. At that point, I got very not upset but quite sort of strongly severe sort of with the people at the hospital saying, 'Look, you know, that's 24 hours, possibly a 48 hours' wait - that's not something that's tenable. The termination would be averting a tragedy. I couldn't work out what was taking so long and put it down to the doctor being young and inexperienced. I felt more informed, and I felt that that was what I needed in my head to see you know, that I've got to accept now that this, all these things are real on the screen and this was really my baby that's suffering all these things [sighs], but I was sad as well. This was a ray of hope for us. And I knew there was no way out. He looked fine. Living in this world must be unbearable for them. The scan can provide information that may mean you have to make further, important decisions. Check benefits and financial support you can get, Find out about the Energy Bills Support Scheme, NHS fetal anomaly screening programme (FASP), Screening tests for you and your baby (STFYAYB), nationalarchives.gov.uk/doc/open-government-licence/version/3, more information and details of support groups. I pray it's just her heart but I can't see anything else is wrong as I have been scanned by a consultant since I was 14 weeks and every time he has said everything looks okay and she is growing consistently. I did think it was a bit strange that she wasn't talking, and then she sort of said, 'Oh, I think there's a problem. So instead, I was advised to go home and let nature take its course. Baby loss stories It was, 'Oh we'll come back to that'. And with each one we had to have the same conversations. And of course some other measurements she needed to take like the width of the skull, which she couldn't take because the fetus was in the wrong position. See more information about the 20-week ultrasound scan. And my partner and I would have a completely different life from the one we'd imagined. The first result, which tells you if the baby has Down's syndrome, is ready in three days, but the other chromosomal problems cannot be eliminated for up to three weeks. Severe chromosomal conditions such as Edwards' syndrome are now often picked up in the first trimester antenatal screening but itwill usually be more obviousat the 18- 20 week scan, though usually a firm diagnosis will not be made until one or two specialists have weighed up all available evidence about the baby - which usually means that another expert needs to scan the baby again, or until the woman has had an amniocentesis. But worse was to come. We talked all night and thanked God for crap television. The 18-20 week antenatal scan and further tests. 18-20 week scans provide clinicians with more information than earlier scans because by18 weeks a healthy baby should be larger and better developed. I ran into the bedroom to tell Sam, who was ecstatic. So we gave up and said we'd arrange the funeral ourselves. Picture every packed football staduim up and down the country - all healthy pregnancies and births. As I lay down, and the sonographer started, I could see there was something wrong. This short video explains screening for 11 physical conditions in pregnancy. Health professionals use the 18-20 week scan to examine the baby's size and position, and also to check if his/her brain, heart, lungs and other internal organs are developing as expected. Dont worry we wont send you spam or share your email address with anyone. A long process of blood tests, scans, doctors and hospitals. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, "it didn't look good" and that "my womb looked raggedy". That he - I think I was 21 weeks and 3 days, and he was coming up at 19 weeks and 4 days, or something like that. The next day, it was confirmed that my bloods had again dropped. If one of the conditions is found or suspected, the sonographer may ask for a second opinion from another member of staff. And I could see, before she even said anything I could see that there was something wrong with the heart. We, I was with my mum, and they scanned and found choroid plexus cysts on the brain, which is just a mark, it's a marker on the brain, it's a, what they call a 'soft marker'. Anyway we went in for the meeting with the consultant on this particular time, and we'd got to, I was 30 weeks pregnant by then. My partner watched the baby come out, and for a split second I saw a look of joy on his face. My wife had been very, very healthy, more healthy than the first pregnancy, and of course was shattered by the fact that the news, the news was appalling, very serious faces. I had no idea if we were doing the "right" thing. The consultant showed us the letter with our result on and, yes, there were the words "Down's syndrome". Parents get a chance to emotionally adapt to news and plan. I had to wait yet another sleepless night. And they actually asked my husband to come in before they spoke to me. I just want to be normal again. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. Nights were impossible. If you are not sure, you can contact them and ask. He started to scan me with a cold expression, then told me, "it didn't look good" and that "my womb looked raggedy". It was over. But with time although we will never forget, I know we will be ok again. Find more information and details of support groups on NHS.UK. I loved him instantly and didn't want to let him go. It wasn't measuring at all the right measurements for the age - there was a heart defect, the limbs were sort of distorted, the arms were, you know - you could see that the arms were very sort of contracted, the hands were contracted. So that just left the talipes. She just said, 'It's a bit short, it needs to be checked' again basically. No, you couldn't see there was anything wrong. The doctor didn't come. These opinions do not represent the opinions of Tommys and are not advice from Tommy's. And my husband, we never got to sit next to each other in the consulting room, my husband was across the room from me, and I was sat next to the consultant, and we were laughing and joking with him about, you know, the home delivery, and everything was going to be, 'Are you still on for the home delivery?' But that was too easy. And there [sighs] was a very dark patch over one, where the eye socket was, and they didn't know it, in the Edward's babies sometimes the eyes don't develop properly, or it might have been bleeding, they weren't very sure. But she told us, she told us, she gave us some more detail, she said, 'There's this, there's a big gap in the brain where there shouldn't be'. He felt strong and fit and healthy. You get extra care and monitoring as appropriate and baby is proactively treated. We were denying him his life. We also use cookies set by other sites to help us deliver content from their services. Sometimes a post mortem was needed to confirm the 20-week diagnosis to see if the baby had inherited a genetic problem (such as Fowler syndrome - see 'Resources'). And I am slowly coming to terms with what has happened. Thankfully I was met by an amazing sonographer, she was compassionate and understanding. 17/12/2020 17:13. It felt as if we had gone power crazy. So at 20 weeks I went for my scan with my husband, with my daughter, to get our photographs. But they didn't. Enough for two weeks after he had been cremated. So once again we were right back down, really no, really not knowing what to expect. As soon as we arrived, we were shown to this little room. I endured 12 hours of medication and in the early hours February 7, 56 days after my first scan (at nearly 18 weeks), I miscarried our babies. After that I got, I, it was about in, in 19-, hang on a minute, 2001 I got pregnant again, slightly unexpectedly. b>Bad news at 20 week scan. The midwife was on the verge of tears and I felt responsible. SO much upset and needless angst has been caused by 'soft markers' found at scans. If this happens, you will be offered one further scan by 23 weeks of pregnancy. I managed to tell my mum, who said she would come with us to the hospital. Try to relax and take it easy. Specialist scans I give obsessively to charity, especially those linked to sick children. And also what the prognosis would mean for our two year old: now a very happy child, he would have a completely different childhood with such an ill sibling. You know there's always that bit on the bottom of the thing, 'These are diagnostics, do not bring other children,' - blah, blah, blah.. it's not, you know, it's not a family outing kind of thing, but it feels like it. 80 percent of my pregnancies have ended in death and I felt like they were telling me those babies didn't matter. All my plans were beginning to fall down. And as soon as she said those words, both of us were like, 'Well what's wrong?'. But you know I knew we had, we had to make a decision that was right for the baby as well. And I remember, the first thing I remember when something might be wrong, was I saw, I finally, we finally saw an image of the skull on the screen, and there appeared to be a sort of black hole shape in the middle. No one else attended and we didn't have a service. Reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment from a qualified health care provider. So I lay on the bed and my partner sat next to me. I'd had the scan in the scanning room, I can't remember what they call it now, it's silly, it's gone from my head. ABDOMINAL CIRCUMFERENCE MEASUREMENT AT 20 WEEK SCAN. I noticed the box of tissues on the table. Many described how sonographers and doctors were very restrained and didn't speak at all until they had analysed all the baby's details. The baby was very, very small. The 18 -20 week fetal anomaly scan is a watershed in most pregnancies because for the majority of women it will be the last time they are scanned before giving birth. There is more detailed information about the main conditions that are looked for during this scan on NHS.UK. It was all going wrong and I wanted to get as far away from the hospital as possible. My belly was growing and I was feeling great. Apologise for somehow doubting their right to be in this world. It seemed inconceivable that we would not be having a baby in May. Wed like to set additional cookies to understand how you use GOV.UK, remember your settings and improve government services. Our nightmare began when I went for my 20-week scan. The milk came and stayed for what seemed like for ever. 20 week scans look for 11 different anomalies as a rule, however, indicators (markers) are not terribly reliable and in all the literature I found, the targets set for stonographers look like they only pick up around 50% or less of these variants. It was positive, and I felt elated. The contractions started very quickly and within an hour my waters had broken. I thought I was going to burst into tears. There are no known risks to your baby or the mother from having an ultrasound scan but it is important that you consider carefully whether or not to have the 20-week scan. There was complete silence during the scan. After half an hour of lying on the bed, I was starting to get nervous, but was excited to find out that the baby would be a boy and that I could see his little heart beating strongly. Next most likely (but actually in the minority) they identify something which whilst not 100% healthy is treatable. Maybe. The weeks since that day have been very weird. I would be put to sleep, and when I woke up I wouldn't be pregnant any more. This scan takes place between 18 weeks and 20 weeks 6 days of pregnancy and is commonly called the 20-week scan. Not a good sign in a hospital consulting room. So I was a bit ignorant of the kind of things, you know, what the scans were really doing - maybe it was, a bit na've I think. Some of the other conditions, such as heart defects, are more difficult to see. Maybe our son would have overcome his problems, survived his illnesses, led a happy life. Many parents were shocked by findings from the 20-week and later scans. It seemed a very arbitrary system, and so you quite often sat outside in the waiting room for a couple of hours before you actually got to see the consultant, which was, seemed you know, I kind of remember thinking before we went in to see him on the particular day when we found out there was a problem, 'Why are we sitting here? And then I can't remember an awful lot more about that scan apart from that feeling of searching of how to react in an unknown situation - your brain's kind of trying to work out what to say, what to do, but I had no idea what to say or what to do and I think my first thought was, does that mean our first daughter's okay? To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account. And even at that early stage it was beginning to sink in that there was something really not right. There, I would give birth. And it all seemed so near at hand, you know, 31, 30 weeks, you feel like you're nearly, you're on the home stretch. And it was just a bit of a shock because it's not really what you want to hear - you don't really expect that. Well send you a link to a feedback form. All the hopes, dreams, and plans we made with our little bumps has been taken away from us. Rather sharply, my partner tried to explain. All women are offered a dating scan, and an 18- 20 week fetal anomaly ultrasound scan, in line with NICE and UK National Screening Committee recommendations. It was horrible. This might be uncomfortable. But here I was, minutes later, lying down, waiting. By this point I had stopped bleeding, this caused problems. So he was about two weeks smaller than what he should have been. And shortly after that, that scan we'd finished and the consultant leant back and said, 'I'm afraid we have some problems here'. The gel makes sure there is good contact between the probe and your skin. And at that point I don't think we, I don't think we realised that there might have to be a decision, because we'd talked about it with, with Down's and the other possible problems, but at this point it was, well okay what can be done to fix the problem - because yes the heart's not developing properly but there must be something we can do. At which point they turned round and said, 'Well, there is something very seriously wrong with the baby, we don't know exactly what, but you do need to have a more in-depth scan at your regional hospital to find out the detail'. the amniocentesis) and the pregnancy had already ended, or because the scan was not routinely offered in their region 5 or more years ago. Two days, after on Christmas Eve, (my 12 week date) I had more blood tests. Many parents were shocked by findings from the 20-week and later scans. And, faced with feeling sorry for myself or feeling sorry for my child, I know which I'd choose. It is extremely rare for these pregnancies to reach term as they typically spontaneously miscarry early in pregnancy. And I'm glad I did and she's glad she didn't. Previous scans in this pregnancy and with my first child had been fun - a chance to see the baby wriggling around and perhaps find out its sex. Did you, how did that scan make you feel? No discussion, no quiet contemplation. But it's bloody hard being miserable the whole time. I wanted to be a passive patient while the doctor did what he had to do. How was that scan different from the dating scan? As you felt that, you know, it was probably going to show lots of problems and it just wasn't what we wanted, but at the same time we needed to sort of see it and, we needed to prove it I suppose. I didn't really know what that was. My partner really wanted me to, and by that time I had no sense of what was right or what I should do. We saw the consultant, who was reassuring, saying that he would rescan me and was sure everything would be fine. So it was, there was very, very little movement from the baby because I remembered first time round by that stage, you know, that the baby was quite big and it moved around a lot at a later scan. My mum arrived early to look after our son, and my partner and I got a cab to the hospital. So we'd gone through the Down's syndrome or worse scare, we'd had conversations about what we would do, if it was confirmed that it was Down's syndrome or another syndrome, another sort of chromosome abnormality. We had amnio and then spent a week in absoute anguish waiting for the outcome which was no trisomies. 15/02/2014 08:02. I don't know how we got through the next couple of days. chances of bad news at 20 week scan mumsnet. And for that whole time, my partner and I were both crying uncontrollably. Later, I did see and hold our baby. We must have had one before that as well, we must have had one before that, but it came back quite normal. The people who did know what was going on seemed far too sure that we were doing the right thing, that there was really no choice to be made. So I trusted him. 12/12/2012 22:41. Eventually, the midwife said to us very sweetly, "I think we should deliver the baby now." So I sort of went home quite, fairly kind of happy and I, at, at this point I hadn't any idea things could go wrong anyway. We had the same conversation, but obviously were not making any sense to her at all. Some stories I hear are amazing! It felt so wrong. It will take only 2 minutes to fill in. He looked excited. And so we talked about it euphemistically, never saying the word "research". Because, when you're angry with the world for dealing you such a shit time, you begin to hate the people who populate it. Can't seem to find info on the Internet. She didn't want to see the baby. For example, you may be offered further tests that have a risk of miscarriage. Spina bifida can usually be seen clearly on a scan and of those babies who have this condition, around 9 out of 10 (90%) will be detected. So that was it. Forcing my hand to my mouth to take the tablet was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. Trying to carry on as normal, working and putting on a brave face. Smiling at myself and picturing me and Sam becoming parents. Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). Specialist scans had a powerful effect on some parents because they could see the baby more clearly and in some cases people recognised which parts of the baby's body were not working properly. Away you go'. The consultant at the time wasn't really that interested in that imagery. Our baby was beautiful. No one else but my partner saw how similar he was to our son. The nursery I had selected for our two-year-old son; my maternity leave; the bunk beds; the summer holiday suitable for a newborn baby. So she said, 'Come back on Monday. So had to come back in a week's time for a scan, which again is quite a common thing I found out. We didn't feel we could tell anyone what was happening. I had to take a tablet there and then, under the supervision of a nurse, to end the pregnancy. Wishing to be anywhere, but here being told the same agonising truth over and . And so we had to go out a couple of times, [wife] had to walk around, and she had a drink of water, which is supposed to sort of change things inside, or help the baby turn around or something because the sonographer couldn't get the measurements she wanted.